


Evil Blue Coffee-Blocking Heart

by ermengarde



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 20:05:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5678947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermengarde/pseuds/ermengarde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein it is very early and there is no coffee and Frank is trying to break down Mikey's door (also: fire and it all being Gerard's fault).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evil Blue Coffee-Blocking Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lucifuge5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifuge5/gifts).



> This is a WOEFULLY late story for Luce, sorry lovely ♥, and thank you to the Snowflake challenge for getting me off my arse with it.

"Mikey..!"

Mikey pulled his comforter over his head. Frank was very loud and very EARLY. Maybe he would get bored and go away.

There was a thump on the door, accompanied by a worrying cracking sound. If Frankie lost them the security deposit Mikey was going to be pissed... although... Mikey grunted. They'd probably already lost that when Gee painted that fucking cool Endor scene on the wall in Enamel. Fucking stupid, that wall should be sold for millions, like a Banksy or something. Mikey rolled over and burrowed further into his pillow. 

 

"Michael James Fucking Way! Get your lazy fucking ass out of bed and explain what the fuck this is in the kitchen!"

Mkey made a groaning noise. This was the shit he'd left home to get away from.

"MIKEY!" Frank banged on the door again. "I'm coming in, your dick better not be out."

Mikey's dick was asleep in his pajamas, under his comforter, just like Mikey's brain wanted to be... Well, not the pajamas bit, that would be kinda weird, but, like, asleep and cosy and... The door opened and Mikey sighed. Apparently it was morning now.

"'the fuck, Frankie?" Mikey whined plaintively. Frank could sometimes be made to feel guilt.

"There's a fucking **THING** in our fucking KITCHEN, and it has fucking TENTACLES!"

"Wha..?" Mikey was not good before coffee. He cracked one eye open, slowly and keeping it screwed up against the nasty painful daylight. Frank was hopping from foot to foot like a manic Christmas elf and he was NOT holding coffee. Mikey closed his eye again.

"It was between me and the coffee maker Mikes, it was between me and the DOOR!"

Frank was fucking psychic sometimes. Mikey sat up and opened both eyes, flinching involuntarily at the brightness. 

"What do you want me to do about Frankie? Our deal was that I get the free entry to clubs and all the spiders and you get everything else. This sounds like it's an everything else kind of deal."

"Frank crossed his arms. "It could be a spider plant."

"You said tentacles, I'm pretty sure spider plants don't have tentacles."

"Mikeeeeeeeeeeey." Frank pouted.

"Okay, okay." Mikey thought for a minute. "Are the tentacles, like, static at one end?"

"Um. Yeah? Yeah, I''m pretty sure."

"Okay, cool. We just need to, like, attack the root or whatever."

Frank spluttered.

"Fire's pretty good at killing most things... I don't think our kitchen's a lava bed or anything."

"What the..."

"Yeah." Mikey nodded, he had a plan. "You get some water and shit from the bathroom Frankie, you're good at putting out fires." Mikey swung his legs out of bed and started digging around on the floor for his hairspray. He shook the can, smiling when he confirmed that it was still pretty full. 

 

Frank shook his head and left the room. Mikey heard him turn on the taps. 

Mikey grabbed his lucky lighter and, armed with that and his hairspray, went to meet Frankie in the hallway outside the kitchen. Frank had emptied the bathroom trash can and filled it with water and was looking anxiously at the door to the kitchen.

"Ready, Frank?"

"Yeah, how 'bout you?"

"Fuck yeah."

Mikey kicked open the kitchen door, which was not as cool as it was in the movies, and which would have bounced back into his face if Frank hadn't caught it.

Some kind of weird blue tentacled thing was lurking menacingly in the corner next to the front door, right in front of the fucking coffee maker. Mikey made a little involuntary sad noise before he walked up to it and blasted fire right into its evil blue coffee-blocking heart. 

The smell was fucking horrible. 

 

Twenty minutes later, after Frank had put out the fire and take the blue tentacle remains down to the dumpster across the street (and picked up coffee at the shitty diner there, too) Mikey started wondering where the monster had come from. He called Gerard.

"Gee.... did you bring a gift over last night?"

"Uh, no, I, uh, ordered you something though. Did it come already?"

"Gee, was it blue?"

"Oh yay!"

Mikey could practically hear Gerard clap with joy over the shitty connection on his cell phone.

"Gerard, I am going to fucking BURN your credit card."


End file.
